The need to refocus

Last week was a rough one for me. I was hoping to get a great week of training in after a 1 week vacation following my crash at Ironman St. George. Monday started out like a normal big training day. For the first time in a month I lifted weights, did plyometrics, and lunges. I think I made the mistake of jumping back in right where I left off a month ago. By Tuesday night I was more sore than I've been in a year. Wednesday was the worst. I had to really back things off just to avoid getting injured as my muscles were not happy with me. By Thursday things were beginning to get better. I had a decent week running with 48 miles and swimming I went 4 times for 13,000 yards. I had a great open water swim with Adam on Sunday. My biggest disappointment was that I only got on my bike for 50 miles. That is absolutely pathetic. I didn't ride at all over the weekend. I'm not sure why I couldn't get myself motivated to get on the bike but I'm definitely frustrated with myself right now. Since reaching a low weight of 153 lbs. in early March I've let my eating habits fall completely off the table and I've gained about 10 lbs. I am not supposed to be racing at 163 this year. That is what I raced at in 2009 during my last year as an amateur. I knew at that time I had more weight to lose and that I would be faster when I lost it. I was running so well this winter at 153. Now I feel pathetically fat. The week started out well but the soreness threw me off and then I could not get myself to train at a high level and instead chose to eat anything I could find. It's tough for me to admit the loss of focus. I have high goals for the summer and this is not really acceptable. I knew it was important for me to write about it so I could begin to hold myself accountable for the mental lapse. I decided to run a track workout today to assess the damage and I surprised myself a bit. I ran 6 times 800 meters with 90 seconds rest after a 6.5 mile warm up. I set a target time of 2:35-2:40 which is nothing to be proud of but it is a start and I would feel good about finishing a workout knowing I could do more. I ended up feeling better than expected as I ran 2:35, 2:34, 2:31, 2:30, 2:27 and 2:23. I was able to put a "+" in my workout book which signifies a day of Junk-Free eating. I need to string a bunch of those together to get back down to fighting weight by mid-July. I'm a little disgusted with myself right now. Hopefully I can get a good week in this week and start feeling a little better about things. Pigman is 2 weeks away and it will be a very competitive race. I'd like to be in the hunt to win but I know I'm the only one to blame if I get toasted. Thanks for reading. Work harder than I did last week. DREAM BIG!!